USC vs. Nebraska: it's about much more than football.

Last Saturday afternoon I visited L.A.'s historic Memorial Coliseum. It marked The Huskers' most recent close-game loss––to USC no less. But there was still plenty to celebrate beyond the gridiron.

I co-wrote The Mad Monks’ Guide to California for Frommers/Macmillan to give authentic travelers––as opposed to tourists––inside tips on navigating America’s most defiantly indefinable state. A large portion of the book focused on Los Angeles, a previously underappreciated vortex of apocalyptic chic and disaster porn. From my ambitious peregrinations around the formidable metropolis for that still-essential 25-year-old work, I can confidently say that the area around the University of Southern California (USC) campus is some of the ugliest in not only The Bear Republic but also America. By comparison, the University of Chicago—also situated in “the hood” and which I briefly attended and worked for—is Gothically gorgeous.

However, once inside its University Park campus, USC has some highlights: America's finest-looking coeds (women, men, and––apologies to Congresswoman Nancy Mace––men/women), an intriguing array of Romanesque Revival buildings (no surprise given the school’s putative nod to ancient Troy, from where Romans claim their descent), plus an epic sports stadium that made its bones as host venue for the 1932 Summer Olympics.

USC’s academic credibility is better than its reputation as the “University of Spoiled Children”—a bad rap enhanced by white Woke Hollywood schmucks like Felicity Huffman and Lori Loughlin who tried to bribe their way into gaining admission for their entitled brats. The university has vital programs in business, entertainment, and journalism.

However, what sets USC apart in the national zeitgeist is its sporting prowess. USC has won the NCAA championship in men's outdoor track and field twenty-six times, men's tennis twenty-one times, and baseball twelve times, the most of any school in each sport. It has also won eleven national football titles. It probably would have won several more in the Pete Carroll coaching era had there been a twelve-team football playoff, as almost every year USC would lose a game it had no business losing.

This is a down year for the vaunted Trojans’ football team, but Nebraska carries a cowbell of doomed close-game futility around its neck, so, true to form, we lost this past Saturday. Still, there was so much more to savor.

Start with the legendary USC Marching Band (see above). You might get tired of hearing “Tribute to Troy” (listen below), but I never do. As the song plays, I can see Hector proudly protecting his people against the invading Greeks. In my dreams, a Husker Achilles figuratively drags Hector around the Coliseum in triumph. But I will wait a long time for such a heroic celebration until the Huskers start taking risks on fourth down, block better, and deploy more creative play-calling.

Growing up in brutal Nebraska winters in the 1960s and 1970s and seeing the USC football experience on national TV was mind-blowing. The ever-present sunshine, evocative descent into dusk, relaxed excellence, and an aura of beauty and confidence seemed unattainable. “What was this idyllic place? And how did they get the most gorgeous people in America to be their cheerleaders?”

Moreover, “How did they lure the best athletes in America to play for their football team?” Household names like Marcus Allen, Reggie Bush, Frank Gifford, Keyshawn Johnson, Ronnie Lott, Clay Matthews, Troy Polamalu, O.J. Simpson, Junior Seau, and Lynn Swann were, for better or worse, former USC football standouts.

Then there was the team’s mascot, the white horse “Traveler.” There were no Indigenous people to offend; it was just thematically correct and daunting. USC just seemed better in all ways. The school understood pageantry and showmanship—and their on-field success justified both.

Unsurprisingly, given its grasp of spectacle, USC's School of Cinematic Arts graduated some of our most successful mainstream filmmakers: Ron Howard, James Ivory, George Lucas, and Robert Zemeckis. It is also home to the Marketplace radio show—which I have been on with its riveting host, Kai Ryssdal. It’s one of the most popular programs on public radio and refreshingly free of the left-wing cant that plagues most other public radio programming.

It is no surprise that many Nebraskans have relocated from the Heartland to Southern California. Here I am, Capturing the Friedmans Capturing the Friedmans, who claim a proud legacy that goes back to Omaha’s Central High.

Nothing against Omaha-based Cubby’s all-night meth mart or King Kong’s monstrous burgers on Dodge, but if you want to be a master of the universe, you need several late-night eateries. USC has those reasonably close by—from Hollywood Thai to Slurpin’ Ramen to Sun Nong Dan to The Prince (a favorite bar backdrop in Mad Men).

USC has also adapted to culinary shifts brought on by California’s deliberately open border. You won’t see and hear calls for “churro! churro!” inside Lincoln’s Memorial Stadium!

Then, there is the outrageous beauty found everywhere on campus. A middle-aged dadbod can’t compete!

But one day my Nebraska Corhuskers will. #GBR.