Voicemails

If someone leaves you a voicemail, please do not then call them back to say, “I saw that you called.”

Can we start a new rule in this country, please? If someone leaves you a voicemail, please do not then call them back to say, “I saw that you called.” Often the point of the voicemail is to give you critical information so that you don’t need to call back.

You know a voicemail has been left. Your phone tells you so. Listen to it. Then, and only then, call the person back. However, if the person has called but not left you a voicemail (you can tell that too), then by all means call back saying, “I saw that you called.” Because you did. And you did not leave a voicemail because you actually wanted to talk and what you had to talk about would not be appropriate for voicemail, is too involved for voicemail, or because you were too lazy or busy to leave a voicemail

I am a voicemail artist. I put a lot of effort into these works of telephonic performance art. When you just call me back without listening to the serious intellectual and spiritual effort I’ve put into the voicemail, you are denigrating my art.

Thank you for listening.